


Vanilla Twilight

by bloodred_ander



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love, not exactly unhappy ending, not really sure what other tags to use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 14:43:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2113833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodred_ander/pseuds/bloodred_ander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a little something about David's move to PSG and about Oscar's feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vanilla Twilight

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the song vanilla twilight by Owl city. Also it's my first work ever so be gentle......and if it's crappy I apologize. Enjoy :)

Oscar had heard the rumours, he had been hearing them for far too long but he refused to believe them. And so when Thiago had called to tell him that David was moving from Chelsea to Paris Saint-Germain, he laughed. He laughed so that Thiago wouldn't know how hurt he was. He laughed because even though he knew it was true, he was expecting David to tell him the news before anyone else. He laughed like a madman because he didn't know what else to do. He laughed until the line on the other side of the phone went dead. Until tears began to fall from his eyes and his laughter turned into breathless sobs.

If anyone knew Oscar well enough, they knew he was in love with David Luiz. Not that he went around telling everyone that. He was simply not good at hiding his feelings and he never actually tried to. He knew he loved David, everyone else knew he loved David but only David himself seemed to be oblivious to the fact. This bothered Oscar, it hurt him a lot but he would rather be friends than be nothing at all. And he would never, ever, do anything to ruin his friendship with David.

David had called him a few hours later to tell him 'something important,' and the excitement in his voice was unmistakable. Oscar knew what it was about though, thanks to Thiago and despite knowing, it still broke him when David said, "I'm moving to Paris soon."

Oscar could feel his heart shatter into a million little pieces. He felt like he was being ripped apart. Sure, it had hurt when Thiago told him but it hurt even more hearing it from David himself. It was painful because David had confirmed that he was leaving. So he sat there silently, tears hot on his cheeks while David rambled away about how excited he was, he sat there completely devastated just listening to David. He sat there thinking about all the things he wanted to say to David. So many things other than goodbye. But he was too scared to ruin their friendship. Too scared to lose him forever. And so instead of saying everything he really wanted to, he said three simple words. Hoping against all hope that David, would see the actual meaning behind his words. But David was as slow as Oscar was scared.

And so he didn't really understand all the meaning hidden behind Oscar's simple, "I'll miss you."

~~*~~*~~*~~*

Oscar was back in his apartment in London. And normally he loved it there but given his current situation, it felt like hell. His apartment was cold and lonely and it felt.......empty. Or maybe it was just the way he was feeling.

It was almost nearing midnight but instead of sleeping, he sat out on the balcony, watching the stars. This was the kind of thing he did with David. Who was now probably in his new apartment, happily settled in. Oscar wondered if David was doing the exact same thing he was. He hoped so. Cause as corny as it sounded, he felt the tiniest bit better just by knowing they were staring up at the same sky. And somewhere deep down inside him he wished that maybe, just maybe, David was lying awake and missing him.

"Just like I'm missing you."

He sat there for a long time, cold and tired, till he could take it no more. He sat there until reality was too painful for him to handle. So he made his way to his bedroom, warm, inviting and full of false promise.

He crawled under the covers and without really wanting to, thought about David. About all the times he would lie beside him, wrap him in his arms and comfort him. If Oscar had a bad day, if he was sad, if he was sick or even if he was simply missing home, David would always be there to make him feel better. And he needed him now more than ever. He needed his comfort, his protection........his love.

He cried. Cried at how unfair this was. Cried because he hated himself for being such a coward. He cried and cried, until his eyes were swollen, his head hurt and it was difficult to breathe. He cried himself to sleep wishing that David was with him.

When he slept, he had the most beautiful dream. He dreamt of David. Dreamt of a place and time where they were together, deeply in love. David never left him and he was brave enough to say what he had to.

And if anyone were to see Oscar now, wrapped warmly in his blankets snoring slightly, if they were to see the content smile on his lips, he would've looked like the happiest person on earth.

~~*~~*~~*~~*

He did this more often now. It reminded him of David, of the time they spent together. All the secrets, the jokes, the hushed laughter and sometimes, even the silent tears. It was sort of like a ritual. Get a blanket, go out on the balcony and simply sit and watch the stars. It obviously wasn't the same without David. He missed him dearly. Just generally missed his presence around him.

He spoke to David on the phone but of course it wasn't the same. And their conversations were frustrating. If anything he felt worse after talking to him. David was excited and laughing and happily telling Oscar how much he loved his new home. Oscar was bitter and hurt and still living in the past. And after the call ended, he would whisper to the silent room what he could never say to David.

"I love you."

*

He felt cold despite the blanket wrapped around him. The sky was beginning to get brighter and as he sat there on the balcony, watching everything brighten around him, he smiled. Watching the stars shine majestically at night was beautiful but watching the sun rise over the London skyline, that was something else entirely. It made him feel warm and safe and somewhat.............hopeful.

And then when he could no longer keep himself awake, he would wonder back to his bedroom, climb into bed and throw the covers over himself. But it seemed like the moment his head hit the pillow, all his sleep vanished and he was left lying there, tired and thinking of David. Even if he tried not to, his thoughts automatically ventured back to David. It was like no matter how much he tried he just couldn't stop thinking about David. It felt like he was being punished.

For what? Loving a friend? Wanting to be loved?

Normally every time Oscar thought about him, he felt like crying but he was tired now, completely drained. Even if he wanted to he couldn't cry. Maybe his body was telling him to just man the fuck up and move on. But he wasn't ready to move on, even trying to would be useless because everything he did reminded him of David. He sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, immediately feeling his heart tighten.

He slowly lifted his hands up over his head and splayed out his fingers, looking at them thoughtfully, longingly. David had this weird habit of always holding hands and it used to annoy Oscar at first but as time went by he began to find it endearing. He sort of loved it when David would intertwine their fingers together. His hands were always so warm and soft and caring. It made Oscar feel safe and..........wanted. He sighed once more, dropping his hands down onto the bed, wondering if he would ever feel the same again. Wondering if he would ever get over David.

~~*~~*~~*~~*

He was completely exhausted. For the past few days he was having trouble sleeping and maybe he only had himself to blame for that. The balcony had become his haven now, he spent almost all his time on it. He loved watching the sunset. Actually he didn't love the sunset all that much, what really appealed to him was the soft glowing light from the sky when the sun was below the horizon. This felt like it was solely his, like he never had to share the view with anyone at all, not even David. Like the universe was telling him, just like every day comes to an end so would his pain. Maybe he wasn't ready to let go of David just yet but he knew that eventually he would move on.

He still felt lonely though, even when he was surrounded by people. Training was the worst time of the day. He missed all of David's antiques, all his pranks, his jokes, his loud contagious laughter and his heart warming smiles. To him it seemed like being surrounded by people was worse than being left alone. His friends tried to cheer him up but it was of no use. They could sympathize with him, feel sorry for him but they would never understand what he was going through. It's not as if he blamed them for it.

When he was alone at home with absolutely no one around, those were the times he preferred. His thoughts kept him company. Thinking about David wasn't so painful anymore, in fact it was quite the opposite. Every time he thought about David, the memories brought a smile to his face. These memories he had with David could never be replaced by anyone or anything else.

Oscar could feel himself slowly letting go of the tiny sliver of hope that maybe one day David would reciprocate his feelings. His past revolved around David completely and if a month ago someone were to tell Oscar that he would eventually get over him, he wouldn't have believed them. However, now it was different. He hadn't let go of David completely but his world didn't revolve around him anymore. He still cherished and missed his time spent with David and the curly haired man would always hold a dear place in his heart. But somehow Oscar had now made peace with the fact that they were just friends. He was ready to move on and he would, slowly but surely. He didn't feel so broken anymore, so lonely and pained. In fact he felt liberated and alive, almost like he was seeing a whole new and improved side of his life. And he liked it. He would never regret loving David, ever. The only thing he would regret was not being able to confess his love to him. But he couldn't change that now. At some point in life everyone regrets something they did. They either live with it or let it go. Maybe that's what Oscar would do. Maybe that's exactly what he would do.

"I'll let go of you..........but I'll never forget you."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

**Author's Note:**

> Leave comments to let me know what you guys think :) And also the timeline in this story is kinda mixed up.......so just think the part when David tells Oscar he's moving is before the world cup and everything else that happens is after . If you still have any confusions or complaints or if there are any mistakes, let me know!!


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